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Aunt Delfina passed away yesterday Morning [7/11] at ~9:30 AM
May her dancing heart be happy forever
I felt like this was an important note/addition to this entry. And obviously something that's needed at the top. Goodnight sweet Delfina.
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Just arrived back from California about an hour or/and half ago or so... [currently 10.25]

My mind has been only slightly passive on most of the visit.
There were goods
There were bads

I met more nice people than i did last time- in January.

Well i suppose i should start at the finer point of it all.... [aside from actually half surprising Gina xDD!]

We went to see Aunt Delfina; she's been very sick. She's the oldest of the daughters for my Grandma's family. She's been living off one lung her entire life; and she's lost her ability to keep balanced every now and then [apparently since after her husband died] and falls frequently. She loves her freedom though... She's an old woman, with the traditional Cuban kick of "I'll do whatever the fuck i want, even when i'm old"
Well.... Recently something happened, i forgot what it was now... But then she got pneumonia ontop of whatever it was before. So it made her very ill- then suddenly her diet began to affect her body, and her only lung is filling with fluid and so she needs to be on constant watch... She's not allowed to move, but she does so anyway [x3ohhh Delfina!]

[and side note: from the previous times seeing her; there was a French woman who they were BEST friends! Even though Delfina only speaks Spanish, and the other woman only French, they were the best! I found out the French woman died >: ]

Anyway; we went to go see Aunt Delfi in the old-peoples'-hospital...
My grandma Poepoe has been very anxious in the speech of her sisters, Tia Maria, and Aunt Delfina... D: We go in, and Delfina is sleeping- we wake her up and talk for about two hours. We talk about boys with Tara, boys in Delfina's childhood. My PoePoe puts on Delfina's makeup..it was very sad... Delfina- she was still happy.. She loves the company, she loves to share her stories. But Poepoe is very worried, she doesn't want her sisters to die... She knows she may be next. She wants the best, but at the same time her sorrowful emotions get the better of her...
The only time i have seen Delfina scared was when her hospital-neighbor was being changed... She groaned in pain [i think she fell on her side, and she's not healing well]. Delfina's gaze at the curtains as the woman groaned in pain will probably stain my heart. Death is different, when it's someone you know closely, i suppose...
I'm not afraid of death; in all honesty. I have my natural human tendencies though.. when you fear something... Fear, is not something i have been able to rid myself of.. But the fear of Death, i have.

Poe, many times later in the 4 days we spent with her; she would mention "Take the time now, and spend it with me. I don't know how long it will be." or at one point my Aunt and my mother were fighting over the Will, which was being re-written. Poe's worried face, gazing at them as they spoke in Spanish... I petted her, trying to reassure her that they're just being stupid. She looked at me and said, "I don't like it when they fight over my death"
She told us about the Cleaners, and how men are bad at the Cuban restaurant in LA [which had DELICIOUS food btw]

There are many things that she said, that i will not forgot... but i will also not forget how amiss she has become.
One primary example, which is very laughable- was that she gets on the phone with Delfina, and speaks in her broken English. BOTH of them hardly know English! So all you here is "WHAT? HUH?" and lots of broken-english-repeating x3
My mum stares at Poe and says "Mommy, why are you speaking in English? She speaks Spanish!" [this was also, obviously said in Spanish xD most of the dialect written between them is actually in Spanish] My grandma goes, "OHYEAH!" and begins to speak in spanish again xDD

We also went there to see Tia Maria, who is getting very close to the age of death also. She rarely visits, because she lives in Michigan with her daughter-taking care of her Grandchildren. Tia.... When we saw her, she was very thin, and very small. She's gotten ill also; but ontop of that she apparently is very prone to cardiac arrests. So even going on the plane was bad for her. We don't expect to see her again >:

The rest of the time, i was obviously running around with Gina. Mainly going to Erika's talking about random stuff x3 Videogames~
We went to the beach, and i felt bad cause i was like "hai...." and drifted off..xD and everyone was doing their own stuff.. I didn't want to be rude! But i lack social skills [and athleticism] to communicate with them xD
D: i am sad i missed Bishie though..He's always a quiet joy!
:>> we saw some cute puppelies at the mall! And we pet ET [i has pics! D:<< i'm pissed i didn't get more pics of Ginaaaa] x3 he remembered me cause i went back yesterday with mum and he was watching me barking at me xDD it was sooooo cute, i was like "I WANT YOU TOO!! But i have to go on a plane D:andihaveotherpuppies"

Went to see UP with Nadine/Twiggy/.die.! xDD Nadine is the most adorablest little kitty evah! I gots two pics of her :> She was in Szayel cosplay x3 AND SHE HAS ANGRY EVIL NEIGHBORS THAT WERE DRUNK AND HIGH AND WERE LIKE "i'ma bitchand i'ma make repeated not-funny jokes about your clothes! And Nadine!" and i'm like "D:<<<<<<<<"
But Nadine and i ParaPara'd and talked about ANIMUUU and ran around Barnes and Nobles, talked about silly classmates..xD {notice, for most of the trip i was like..dazing off half the time}

UP was deliciously delightful! And so was the openninggg with the cloudsss!!! IT WAS SOCUTEEE!!

Mhh... that's about that for California... My feet ache from talking many places, and my clothes smelllll!!! Ionno whyyyy!! D: it's horrible!

Cuba.. So yesterday [now 11o'clock] the first flight to Cuba from LAX was in the morning..

Cuba.... Like i told Kendra, "It makes my heart ache, but at the same time fills me with joy"
I love my culture [although i have LITTLE knowledge of it] it's lovely. I love cultures who have remained their original stature [IE. Japan, Peru, China]
I want to go see Cuba... Tara and i discussed it this morning while mother was drifting to her Highschool Days with her friend Connie on the otherside of the table.
Tara and i agreed we should raise money to see Cuba next summer [and probably be killed xD]
I want to see Cuba before the tourists devastate it.. I want to see how they've been living under the rule of Fedell, and being closed to the world..

Mother said, "I will not go to Cuba. And if i go, i won't tell Aunt Boo. I don't want ANY of my relatives to know i'm there......[later in the conversation] I won't go to Cuba now, because my mother; when she left- knowing she was leaving her Mother and Father behind, she said 'Good by, i will never see you again'. And i will not go back, while my mother is alive because she said she wouldn't come back."
Among many other things which are blurrily painful to my mind of Poe-dom


I still stand on the Against Cuban Embargo being raised- Tourists.... Cuba has ALWAYS been a try-to-be-Las Vegas island. And that's horrible! There's actually a unique culture, seperate from Spain, and Mexico. A culture outside of sex, children-prostitutes, drugs, and chicken! There's a welcoming culture, much like other Islanders...

My mother's stand on it was: "Fedell [This is an old quote-considering Fedell is believed to be dead now] is supposed to be punished. Because Communism isn't something to be forgiven. That Embargo was put on to tell them it's bad! Unfortunately, that also affects the citizens of Cuba."

..But again; like i said- I'm so mixed about this. I want to be a Cuban; i want to know other Cubans and embrace the culture [even though i lack the ability to speak Spanish -_-------] but i don't want Cuba to be ruined!

Bahhumbug!

Money..
In short: i'm poor
Lul, we didn't get a good tax return. Mum didn't get her phone; now i have to pay my dad's portion of SocialSecurity- so my BILL was raised by 10$~
I'm about to buy a computer, in order to play WoW

And like i said------ 157$ for the laptop, 40$ for LK, and then 16~ for WoW monthly ><<<< looking at spending about 200 on this already =^= and i dun has that money! atm!

But i want WoW badly D:
Both Tara and i kept peaking in to watch David playing WoW on his fancy computer -_-

Grrr~ I wasn't able to buy Bogmonster/Olivia her Moyashimon Oryzae u_u

shitfuckfacebuttpenisduck! fml?




List to do
-Buy a tablet
-TA skirt..purse..something ;3;
-Clean my room
-Finish up anything i need for my Axio dollfie chalk for makeup, metalic red eyes, body ;3;
-Clean my desk -_-~
- Sweet lola outfits
-be more creative
-finish my anime series{or be where they're updated to} [ie. Gintama, Soul Eater, ect]
-get better at school
-figure out a way to die without the chances of living
-kill some people...
-Falls [Black,neon orange, neon green, neon violet-Tubes in probably Green... More yarn...]
-that fun material at JoAnns i found..... find more..
-Buy christmas presents for my desired friends... :3
-Go to Japan
-Buy a mannequin
-start a line of Lolita
-go to a Fashion skool in Japan
-learn Japanese
-meet more Jrock bands...
-get a car/Get my license..
-buy cool anime DVDs [Trigun, SkyCrawlers, among many others..]
-Sims 3 D: